Hullo! Primero parte :-D

안녕하세요 (Annyeonghaseyo = hello), curlies!

I know that it's been an eternity since I last posted, but I had good reason for it this time - school. I'm taking 15 credits this semester again, and I really wanted to focus on classes. So, I didn't just take a blog break, but a break from most social media in general. I feel bad for leaving y'all in the dark, though *sniffles* :-( Hopefully a few updates about everything will make up for it. Sooo, here we go!

1. Universidad (College/University): MUCH better this semester! By God's grace, I'm able to really buckle down and get things done this term. I know that God is a huge part of that, just because I was having emotional issues last semester. Every day hasn't been easy, and I have been tempted to skip classes some days, but I realised how disrespectful that is - especially since my classes are being paid for by my school. So I'm really trying to be more diligent this semester. 

Also, Korean is going really well! It makes Spanish seem like a walk in the park, but I LOVE Korean! It's so different, and yet makes perfect sense to me. King Sejong (credited with inventing hangul, the Korean writing system) and his advisors were geniuses! The entire alphabet was created based on nature and the structure of a person's throat and vocal organs. It's amazing to me that just looking at a word tells you how to pronounce it! It's so much simpler and more logical to me than English. Another cool thing about Korean is that all words are built from Consonant + Vowel (always in that order!) syllable blocks, so translating names is a bit easier. 

For instance, my first name in English is: KIM-ber-lee. Korean doesn't have the strongly emphasised "-er" that I have in my second syllable. But in Korean, my name is written as this: 킴벌리 and pronounced as KEEM-bul-lee. 

The force is still on that first syllable, because the first consonant (ㅋ) is an aspirated (spoken with air) consonant and commonly used for loanwords and non-Korean words/names. The "b" consonant (ㅂ) has a slight "p" sound to it, but it's softened by the previous syllable.  Also, the first two syllables have this nifty thing going on called Patchim (or what my sunsengnim [선생님] calls C-star). Patchim is when you add another consonant (or 2) to the original Consonant + Vowel block. It can change the pronunciation of that consonant - like in the middle syllable of my Korean name. The "ㄹ" has a slight rolling "r" sound (think like the double "r" in correr [Spanish]). As patchim, though, the "ㄹ" changes to an "l" sound. The "ㄹ" would have that rolling "r" in the last syllable ("ree"), but since there's another "ㄹ" right before it, the first one makes the second one take on it's "l" sound.

Also, in the word 선생님, there's patchim in every syllable. The "ㄴ" and "ㅁ" don't have sound changes, but the "ㅇ" does. Originally, "ㅇ" is a silent consonant (needed for words that start with vowel sounds but that need a sort of consonant placeholder), but with patchim, the silence is broken and "ㅇ" is pronounced as "ng" (like the "ng" in "ing"). Pretty cool, huh? Okay, going out of nerd mode...

2. Spiritual Health: I'm keeping on keeping on. I'm still in the same life group (small group/Sunday school) at my church, and we're supposed to be starting a new series in a couple of weeks. I guess I'm excited for it, but for a while now, I've been very dissatisfied with my church. Before y'all run away and condemn me for blaspheming Christ, please believe that my dissatisfaction is biblical, and not just nitpicky things like the music. I don't want to go on what seems like a whiny rant about it, but suffice it to say that I don't feel like I'm growing spiritually at the church I'm currently attending with my family. It's bothered me for quite a long time now (I think I started noticing around 11th or 12th grade), and I've continued going only because I'm on a ministry team with my sister and I can't just abandon them. Once I fulfill my obligations with them, however, I'll be praying about visiting other congregations. My personal devotions have been erratic (what's new? :-/), but the Holy Spirit is quick to remind me when I forget. Not a pleasant feeling, but needed, nonetheless.

3. Physical Health: I must say that this took a turn for the better! I'm taking nutrition this semester, and at first I was a tad skeptical. My professor assigned us to do a personal risk assessment; we had to interview our parents about their health, their siblings' health, their parents' health, and their parents' siblings' health. We also had to compose a family tree showing the birth and death of everybody (including ourselves and our siblings), and note any nutrition-related diseases that could've been prevented. I always "knew" that both sides of my family had health issues, but this assignment made it real to me. 

After interviewing my parents, I stared numbly at my paper as I saw that relative after relative suffered from Diabetes, hypertension (high blood pressure), hyperlipidemia (high cholesterol), obesity/overweight and cancer. My dad, paternal uncle, paternal great uncle, maternal grandmother (deceased), maternal grandfather, maternal uncle, and maternal great aunts and uncles all have Diabetes. They also all have hypertension! Nearly everybody on my mom's side is obese or overweight, as am I. I inherited gallbladder disease from my maternal grandmother. It was just disease after disease, and I felt so overwhelmed! I wanted to cry. I was at a heightened risk for everything because it was so prevalent in my family! I already have gallbladder disease and obesity, but the one thing that freaks me out is Diabetes. After learning even more about (I picked up a lot from my dad) it during our carbohydrates chapter, I felt numb on the inside. My dad was slowly killing himself from the inside out with his horrible diet, and he didn't seem to care! He could literally keel over any day with the way he eats. It's only by God's grace that he's still alive (just like the rest of us, though, so...). He's already had a scare with clogged arteries a few years back; God provided a miracle then. But the way in which my Daddy doesn't seem to take care of his body really scared me. Death never seemed so close or mortality so real. 

I decided then that I couldn't let that happen to myself. I finally read that last chunk of Eat to Live, and for the past few weeks, I've been eating raw vegan. Before you think I've gone off my rocker, it's actually been a great way for me to eat! My normal, incredibly nauseating post-nasal drip has all but vanished. My sniffles are gone. My stomach is no longer bloated. My gallbladder no longer aches trying to provide bile for foods I had no business eating. I feel more energetic than I have in a couple of years, and my skin looks healthier, too. Typically, I have smoothies for breakfast, a salad with raw crunchy veggies for lunch, and a salad and cooked veggies for dinner (huge, huge, huge salads - about 1/2 pound of lettuce per meal). It's amazing! It's not easy, and I have succumbed to temptation several times, but I'm continuing on. I have to do this not just to look good, but to make sure that I'm taking care of the temple in which the Holy Spirit dwells. To put it frankly, I was being (and still am sometimes) a glutton and acting foolish about my health. It was unwise to treat my body in such a manner. But better late than never, right? I'd rather change my habits before a crisis hits my body.

I'll definitely be updating you guys with my progress! I'm a work in progress, but I can't ever go back to eating the way I was. It's too risky.

Y'all's eyes have taken enough of a hit this AM, haven't they? I thought so lol. Tomorrow I shall continue, dahlings! I'll be updating y'all about the hurr - what's been going on and where I'm thinking of going next. Spoiler alert: my CG days might be over for good *cue Twilight Zone music* Lmbo!

Anywho, how have y'all been? I've missed you (even those that don't comment; every view is greatly appreciated)! I tried to keep up with blogs, and I have to say that Dee, you and AuCurls have done amazing jobs with TC, as usual. Such pretty coils! Raven, your articles and advice are as fascinating and insightful as usual :-) GoldenBlaze, your product reviews have me drooling over here! And Valerie from Curls2Envy - great devos as always, and drop dead gawjus hurr of late! What's in those products of yours? Lol.

안녕! (Annyeong! = Adios/Ciao/Aloha/Bye)

In Remembrance of...What?

On the way home from my great aunt's house, I sat in the backseat of the family van, thinking and drinking in the dark silhouettes of houses flitting by. All of a sudden, tears stung my eyes as a face from my not-too-distant past flashed in front of my mind's eye. I remember him well; we met in my first political science class in the spring of 2012 - my last semester of high school. I was ecstatic because it was my first honors module at MC, and I was eager to absorb every bit of knowledge my professor had to offer.

I remember him from the first day - he actually irritated me slightly because he was so well traveled - he went to school in South Korea and had served in the U.S. Air Force - and knew a lot more than I did. He had an answer, comment or insight for nearly every question the professor posed to the class; at first, I only knew him as the guy who constantly had his hand in the air, waiting to be called on. Though we were both in the honors module, I pretty much ignored him for the first month of the semester unless it was absolutely necessary that we speak to each other.

One day in February, however, my perception of him changed. Several of my classmates and I arrived about 15 minutes early for class that morning. One of the guys there, a politician in the making, started a disagreement about transferring to certain colleges, and an argument ensued. I stayed silent, but I watched Mr. Smartypants closely. His tone, at least, was calm. When I heard his short laugh and observed him run his fingers through his onyx locks as the conversation intensified, I knew that he was irritated, if only in the slightest. Still, I was impressed. Many other guys would have lost it. Inside, I smiled. And as the professor entered the room and quelled the disagreement, I found myself more interested in getting to know this classmate of mine.

As the next few class sessions passed, I noted that unlike 98.9% of the student population, I never once heard him utter a single curse word - highly unusual. Over the next few weeks, we got to know each other better. Our professor often spoke with us directly after class to discuss additional requisites that we had to meet. Usually, he or I would turn an assignment discussion into a question about events we'd been researching or had heard about, and the three of us would stand outside the classroom, talking intently about what happened where and when, and its ramifications on other parts of the globe. And it seemed the more we talked, the more I liked him. Our class schedules didn't coincide, so we couldn't both meet with the professor to discuss our research papers, but we occasionally talked about them with each other outside of class. Only one thing nagged at me still: was he a Christian? He dropped little hints here and there like I've noticed believers tend to do when feeling around for others. But I wanted to be more certain. Oddly enough, his name came up in conversation while talking to one of my best friends one day, and I found out that his family attended her church. I felt like I was on cloud 9 - it was like I had confirmation from God that I could like him.

This was not an infatuation-driven crush. This was true like, I was convinced. He was intelligent and had a great sense of humor. I enjoyed being able to talk about a wide range of subjects with him. I loved how awkwardly cute he was around me, because it made me feel better about being nervous around him. My knees quavered whenever that raven head of hair turned in my direction. His eyes lit up when he saw me. He was mature but still had a sweet boyishness about him. He seemed caring, polite and respectful. I felt comfortable around him; he never once said or did anything indecent. And though we never once brought it up in conversation, I believe that we shared the same faith in the same God, something of vital importance to me. It was like that part of the Hallmark movie where the guy and the girl get to know each other, and everything seems perfect. It certainly felt that way. But the cruise soon came to an end.

As the semester progressed, there was one topic of conversation that he continually brought up that made me feel uncomfortable: transfer schools. I was embarrassed to tell him my list; he had applied to Ivies, whereas I, feeling intimidated by the brand name colleges, aimed lower in my applications. He looked at me funny when the deadline question came about; transfer applications are due by 1 March; freshman applications a month or two prior, and even more for priority admittance into honors programs. There was another issue connected to this question of where I'd end up after MC: age. I knew, by piecing bits of conversation together, that he was at least 21; 24 years old at the most. Unbeknownst to him, I was 17 for most of the semester. But I never mentioned my age or my birthday, or that I was still in high school at the time. And for good reason. Every other time the aforementioned subject had come up with other classmates, they stopped talking to me. I didn't like telling people that I was younger than them; it made things awkward. So whenever he mentioned transferring, I'd go along with it - and technically, I was a transfer student. The credits I'd taken would transfer in to any 4 year university.And with as many as I had, I could technically be considered a sophomore at some institutions. So that is how I justified it. Perhaps that is where I went wrong.

We soon talked after nearly every class. I looked forward to it each week. But then came a dreadful day. I knew it would come up sooner or later, but I didn't want to think about it. It arrived, nonetheless. During the last few weeks before final exams, he asked me where I was transferring after the spring as we walked along the hallway on our way out of the humanities building. My warm smile froze. I died on the inside. Earlier that year, I was 100% positive that UMBC was the place for me. I received a scholarship and all. But after praying about it, I just didn't feel ready to go. Everybody wanted me to go away to school, and yet, I felt that there was a nagging little tug from God to stay put. I didn't want to stay home; ever since I was 12, I'd dreamed of going far away from home for university. But I couldn't just up and disobey God, either. So, I broke the news to my parents and closest friends. They were all angry, upset, confused, wanted an explanation - why wouldn't I want to go away for college? What was wrong with me? Didn't I want the true "college experience"? But I stayed solid. I refused the offer at UMBC and chose to accept the offer of admission from the Scholars program at MC. I was happy with my choice, and felt completely positive that it was what God wanted me to do. 

But how would I explain that to him? He didn't know me that well. Would he understand? Fear filled my heart as he waited for my answer, watching me intently, holding his breath. 

"Well, um, I'm actually staying here for a couple more semesters," I mumbled rapidly, violently thrusting my empty plastic water bottle into the large blue recycling bin. He stopped and - was that a wince on his face? - looked at me, seeming unsure of what I had said.

"Why would you stay here?" he inquired, looking baffled. I gathered my inner strength, ready to lose the heart of the one I'd grown to admire over the past two months. I fingered a loose thread on my backpack, trying to be momentarily distracted. I looked up, meeting those warm, dark brown eyes of his and knowing that they hungered for the truth.

"Well," I began, "I'm only 18." There's a start, I thought. I looked at him anxiously, trying to read him. He didn't seem bothered by what I'd said. In the least. Shocked, perhaps, by discovering that I was so much younger than his 22 years, but not in a bad way. I was faintly hopeful.

"But still, why would you stay? You have enough credits to transfer, don't you?" He wondered, furrowing his smooth dark brows. I cringed inwardly.

"Well, actually, I'm...um...stillinhighschoolandIdecidedtodothehonorsprogramhere," I mumbled, almost under my breath. The light in his eyes, which I'd grown so accustomed to seeing when he looked at me, dimmed. His face fell.

"Oh. Well, um, where do you want to go after that?" his now flat voice asked, without interest.

Almost in tears, my voice wavered as I said "I'm not completely sure yet; I still have a couple more years to think about it." He nodded, but we both knew what was unsaid. As he said goodbye and walked off, I let the tears stream down my cheeks as I went to my next class. I felt like I had run him off, and all because of something that I didn't say upfront. All due to the fact that my educational status was two years behind his. I was crushed. I knew right then that he'd probably never speak to me again.

Sobbing at home, I texted my best friends, and they all assured me that I was probably just overreacting; surely, he'd talk to me at the next class. But I knew him too well. I still saw him look longingly at me when he walked in during the next session, but he didn't even say hello. The final blow came when he walked over to the professor, and murmured that he'd been accepted into Columbia. She congratulated him, and I smiled to myself; I knew that he'd get accepted there, as well as to all of the other institutions to which he applied for admission. My stomach knotted as he went to his seat and I looked at him pleadingly with my big brown eyes. Not even a smile passed his lips. I felt like crying all over again. Why wouldn't he talk to me? Why wouldn't he let me explain? I cried all the way home that day. I felt like a fraud and a liar. And I was angry.

Only the second to last week of classes gave me a small ray of hope. While our professor was setting up a documentary for us to watch, one of the other guys in the class made some remark about former President Reagan. Instantly, He Who Would Not Talk to Me snapped back with a smart aleck response. In spite of myself, I laughed out loud. I saw him turn to me in my periphery and give the smallest flicker of a smile.

Over the next few days, my best friends all agreed that he was a shallow jerk, and that I didn't owe him anything - including explanations. I wrote him a note to explain things, but I never gave it to him for fear of the unknown. As the months passed, I was first upset, then angry, and then heartbroken at the turn of events. But as I grew and matured even over such a small pass of time, I realised that I could actually see things from his point of view. I later met his other younger sister in a Bible study on campus, and found out that she was my age. That helped me to comprehend his side even more so.

I do realise now that it was likely ridiculous for me to be so forlorn over a guy that I wasn't - and most likely will never - in an exclusive relationship with. At best, we were acquaintances. But somehow, that realisation didn't lessen the hurt. Now, I realise that I was probably the one putting too much stock in our budding friendship. When I fall for someone, it is with my whole heart. It felt like my heart had been dropped, jumped on top of, stomped on, danced on, driven over, steamrolled, bulldozed, buried, dug up again, and kicked for good measure. But then again, I was the one who had given my heart away. God put it back together, but I noticed that there were a few pieces missing that he had taken with him to Amherst - the college he ended up attending.

However painful it was in the moment, I did learn something from him. And I had a model for what a godly guy should look like. Since parting ways, I have compared nearly every other guy I've met to him, and so many come up short. Guys like him aren't "a dime a dozen," to borrow the colloquialism. 

Now, if you've made it this far in my post, 1) I apologize for glazed over eyes; I tend to be long-winded; 2) why does it matter? I wondered this myself. I sat here typing this wondering what was the point? Why did he randomly come to mind? I haven't thought about him in months. Why am I randomly writing some sob story about it? I didn't know until a light bulb went off in my brain, and I ran to check the date in the spiral bound notebook I kept lecture notes in for political science last school year. It's been almost one year to the date that I first laid eyes on him. 24 January 2012 was the beginning of the spring semester for the 2011-2012 academic year. It was the fourth Tuesday of the month. Yesterday (when I originally wrote this) was 22 January 2013 - not the same date, but it was the fourth Tuesday of the month. I was flabbergasted when I saw the dates. 

The human brain is an amazing and complex feature of God's creation. I had not thought about him since the beginning of the fall semester, and that was long gone. Why would he suddenly come to mind, just out of the blue? Well, nobody knows - at least, I don't. I suppose my subconscious was at work and realized that this day was important. I'll probably never know.

No matter the lack of an answer, however, and no matter why he came to my mind in that instant, I'm forever grateful to him for the godly example of manhood he set before me without even realizing it. And whether he'll ever know it or not he will always carry a piece of my heart.

Have you ever gone through emotionally painful circumstances that you later looked back on and realized that you'd learned something from them? Did they make you stronger as a person?

Revisiting the Wash 'n' Go

After 2 months of constantly keeping my hair in two strand twists, I decided to give my hair a break and try a signature CG style wash 'n' go with gel this weekend. Here's what I did:

• Pre-detangled/pre-pooed with coconut oil on dry hair. I used my fingers to remove some of the shed hairs from my twists. It left my hair feeling soft and moisturised.
•  Tried to DC with the samples of the Shea Moisture Organic Raw Shea Butter Deep Treatment Masque I received from Glam Natural Life. Alas, its fragrance was much too strong. My scalp turned red, started itching, swelling, and aching. *sniffles*
• Cleansed scalp and hair with Yes to Cucumbers Color Protection Shampoo.
• Conditioned and finger detangled with TRESemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture Conditioner
• Plopped for 10 minutes.
• Applied nickel sized amount of the Curls Curl Creme Brule to each section; sealed with safflower oil.
• Applied Xcess Sport Hold Styling Gel to each section.

I'm happy to note that the finger detangling went MUCH better than it usually does! I went through each section like I do with the Denman - start at the ends, and move knots down. I got rid of much of my shed hair, plus I could easily comb through my hair from roots to ends after I finished a section. And the bonus? I wasn't in the shower for nearly 2.5 hours. Anywho, here's some shots I took of my hair in various states yesterday and today:

The back/right side of my wet head a few minutes after I finished applying all my products.

The back

Left side

Right side

After diffusing for a good 10-15 minutes and several hours of air drying, the back of my head/left side looked pretty good, methinks.

Left side

Front

This looks ridiculous, I know. But I can't yet pineapple, and didn't have a satin scarf. So I just flipped my hair upside down, bobby pinned different sections, and went to sleep. Here's the back view.

The front

This AM's results from pinning my hair up overnight. The back, of course...

Left side

 
The front. It was worth looking like a 
fool to get these results. 
Please excuse my eyeballs, btdubs. Lol.

I'm loving my results so far! Oh, and here are my "empties" (products that I've finished) for the last 2 weeks! :-D

Darcy's Botanicals Vanilla Delight Daily Leave in Conditioner

TRESemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture Condtioner

Yes to Cucumbers Color Protection Conditioner

Spa Haus Salon Conditioner

What "oldie" styles have you revisited lately?

Update + Shout outs

I feel like every other time I post, it's an apology and excuse for why I haven't posted in a while *le sigh* It feels like I've been away from my blog for forever! :-( Here's a few things that have happened since I last posted:

1. My autumn semester went...eh...womp. No further details.

2. I'm still going strong on CG! And loving it :-D

3. I'm still enjoying the GF Pure Clean condish :-)

4. I've decided to keep my YT channel and post videos there and on here #doingtheeabsolutemost.

5. I stopped baggying nightly because (get ready) we ran out of plastic bags and I have no plastic conditioning caps *hangs head in shame* I tried sleeping on a Ziploc bag for a couple nights, but my head is ginormous so I'd get dry patches.

Now, part of the reason why we no longer have plastic bags in the house is because the county I live in (MoCo) has a tax on plastic bags now - 5 cents per bag. It might seem like an insignificant amount, but after buying a cartload of groceries every 2 weeks, it starts to add up. So we just have reusable bags to go shopping with now (it looks ultra tacky in the mall -___-). Sigh. So, I have to find a place that sells plastic conditioning caps. Humph. Any suggestions, curlies? All the ones I've seen in Target and Wal Mart have that foil-type stuff and me no likey. Mayhaps it's time for me to stop being a cheapskate and buy a satin DCing cap? Ugh...who knows?

Anywho...
I have a video (sorry for it being so long, btdubs :-/) telling y'all all about what I'm planning for this year. Lots of new and exciting things!

 In addition to what's mentioned in this video, I'm going to be adding a new contributing author to La Vida - one of my bestest buddies! She's not natural (I can hear the gasps and fainting now), but she has long (almost waist length) texturized hair. Her hair is healthy and burgeoning, and I feel that it'd be beneficial to show that you can have beautiful hair no matter what. She's also big into health and fitness, so there'll be some recipes, fitness tips, etc. to come as well.

Additionally, I've decided to change up my regimen. The way things were just weren't cutting it for me. I timed myself in the shower during my last wash session, and from poo to the last rinse, I was standing in there for almost 2.5 hours! #Ain'tnobodygottimefodat...especially with the semester quickly approaching! Like, really? Humph. I've been obsessed with the magic YT of late, so I checked out videos by Heyfranhey (highly recommend her, btdubs) and MahoganyCurls, and I think that I might know what my new regimen might be. I'm still trying to get my thoughts together on it, though, so I won't give out the deets just yet.

I'm also thinking of exclusively WnGing, but the upkeep..blech. My hair has a weird porosity; if I did it between 7-11 am, it might be 90% dry by the time I hit the sack. It's so irritating. Thus why I've been sticking to twists for so long. But, I've been noticing that with my curls, staying in twists can become a nightmare. My curls get unbelievably tangled after being twisted for 6 days. It's not even funny how messy it can be. So, I wanted to see if my hair just wants to be freed instead. I'll report back once I see how that goes.

And finally...detangling has been getting on my dangnabbit last darned nerves! Don't get me wrong - I love my Denman, I truly do. But standing in the shower for that long trying to get out every single stinking tangle is driving me insane! I detest finger detangling and wide tooth combs, but I might be revisiting them again. I just do NOT have the time and energy to stand in there for so long. I'll let y'all know how this goes, too. Be prepared for some tears and rants. Lol.
 The D3 that I hate to love, and the wide tooth comb that I love to hate. How to find a balance?


Oooh! And I found a YTer who does the TightlyCurly method - AuCurls Naturelle. Check her out; she's doing a series on the TC method, and it is by far the best and most thorough I've seen on the magic YT to date. It's really difficult to find good quality videos on this method, and since I started my natural journey doing TC, it's near and dear to my heart. I was ecstatic to see channel! She has gorgeous curls and such a sweet spirit; I highly recommend her :-)

I think that's about it on my end...what's been up with y'all? Que hay de nuevo?

P.S. Before I forget, I also wanted to shout out Shelly of GlamNaturalLife! I won a giveaway on her blog a week or so ago, and I received a package of sample goodies on Monday. I'll be doing a video on it soon!

P.P.S. I also have to do an update on my OBOT and weight loss/health journey. Ahh! So much to do!

P.P.P.S. And I have a movie review to post, as well as reviews for the books I'm currently reading. Deets later :-)

Inspiration

I was reading a page in A Young Woman's Call to Prayer yesterday morning as I did the prayer part of my devotions.

I had already read a chapter in my Bible, and even though I'd prayed beforehand, I just wasn't "feeling" anything - you know that goosebumpy chill that runs through you when God does something absolutely amazing? Well, it wasn't coming fast enough for my American attention span (lol). I almost quit my reading halfway through, but I pushed through it. I was growing discouraged, though - why wasn't God revealing anything to me (never mind the fact that I hadn't spent any serious amount of time with Him in months; I just wanted my "God fix" smh)?

As I was reading Elizabeth George's book, picking up where I left off, I instantly became encouraged. She was referencing different passages in which God's people prayed in different postures (these are all from the book, btdubs):

Falling on their faces (Numbers 16:22)
Standing (I Samuel 1:12-14)
Kneeling with hands spread (I Kings 8:54)
Fasting and laid on the ground (II Samuel 12:16)

I kept reading down the list until my eyes fell on an unfamiliar passage: Ezra 10:1. My eyebrows furrowed furiously. Ezra? Was that a typo? Where is that located? Major or minor prophet? Before or after Psalms? Is that even a legitimate book?! Did the Protestant church fathers add it as part of the canon? All these questions instantly ran through my head. I'm a PK (preacher's/pastor's kid), and we can be somewhat *cough*arrogant*cough* when it comes to Biblical facts, and in my little self-righteous mind, I decided at that moment that Elizabeth George was wrong - there was no Ezra! Unless I was going crazy and somebody cut the book out from my copy of God's Word (yes, Mrs. George is the crazy one whilst I have these perfectly sane thoughts running through my head...). I went to the Table of Contents to double check, and voila! Ezra magically appeared - before Psalms, as it turns out. I stood greatly humbled and corrected.

So, I flipped to the 10th chapter of this seemingly obscure book and found the first verse. Now, I've listened to enough Adventures in Odyssey episodes to know that you're not just supposed to read the verse listed; you read the one right before and the one directly after so that you aren't taking the verse completely out of context. The verse right before 10:1 was a man talking about how righteous the Lord was, and 10:1 itself was about how Ezra prayed (weeping and bowing down before the house of God). It was the verse right after it that caught my attention. It begins:

2 And Shechaniah the son of Jehiel, one of the sons of Elam, spoke up and said to Ezra, "We have trespassed against our God, and have taken pagan wives from the peoples of the land; yet now there is hope in Israel in spite of this. 3 Now therefore, let us make a covenant with our God to put away all these wives and those who have been born to them, according to the advice of my master and of those who tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law. 4 Arise, for this matter is your responsibility. We also are with you. Be of good courage, and do it."
(Ezra 10:2-4, New King James Version)

 It hit me like nothing ever has before. To think that I came to this realization simply by keeping a verse in context in an historical book (Paul was right - all Scripture is useful for teaching)! I nearly wept. The parts I put in bold stood out to me especially. This is how I rewrote that first phrase on the opposite page to apply to me (a technique I learned doing a Beth Moore study):

"I have trespassed against my God, and turned away from Him and His ways; yet now there is hope in spite of all this."

Oh, how my heart and soul ached to see and hear those words. There is hope. There is hope! For ME. After all I had done, said and thought, there was still hope. After dreading fellowship with other believers, dropping out of the children's ministry, going deeper into depression, being lazy, ignoring God, treating my family like crap - there was still hope! Even after doubting my faith - there. was. still. hope. I'm taking it to heart, believing, speaking it over my life, and claiming it.

"...let us make a covenant with our God to put away all these..."
For myself, I took this to mean that I am making a covenant with my God to put those sins, heartaches, lies...everything behind me. I am rededicating my life to Christ.

Arise, for this matter is your responsibility. We also are with you. Be of good courage, and do it."
It is my responsibility to nurture my relationship with Christ! No excuses - it's up to me to spend time with Him, talk with Him, and include Him in my daily decisions and everyday life. The "we are also with you" I interpreted to be the loving family and friends around me. They are there praying, encouraging, rebuking, uplifting, correcting, and guiding me - and cheering me on all the way, even as I must do for them. That last little sentence is like an energy boost. I have to have the guts, and just go out there and DO it already.

God is just amazing. He never fails to fulfill His promises. I asked to see new truths that I hadn't seen before, and He faithfully revealed them to me. It was confirmation that I'm back on the right path. And even if I don't constantly stay on that spiritual high that I so often seek, I will know that God and my brothers and sisters in Christ are there to help me keep on keeping on.

Time, Time, Tickety Time...+ Got Carrots? + Finals Rehash

If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm addicted to what my friends and I call "the magic YouTube (YT)." I'm subscribed to more than 50 channels, and I watch almost all of the updates - they vary from world events to the latest Twist 'n' Curl tutorial to homeschool curriculum reviews.

I haven't always had such varied interests on the magic YT. At first, I only came to this wonderland of media for footage of one of my favorite comedians (Tim Hawkins) and the occasional music video. Then, my sister introduced me to the brilliant minds behind BlimeyCow. Once I joined the CN forums, I was turned on to Naptural85, KimmayTube, SimplYounique, iknowlee, FusionofCultures, UsNaturalGirls, nappturality, Spiraled Halo, Waterlily716, Summyr1988, CurlyWavyDiane, BeautifulBrwnBabyDol, Katie Douglass, teaundra, MelsharyA, bishonenrancher, HairCrush, HomeSpaGoddess, MahoganyCurls, MahoganyKnots, peepla7, QuickEasyHairStyles, CuteGirlsHairStyles, TRESemme and more. I checked out Naptural85's second channel, DearNaptural85, and thus my vlogging obsession began, and I was soon subbed to BritPopPrincess, BritPopLife, gflowers02, brittser03, TheNiveNulls, BrittsBreakdown, Jamie Pmelb...

Then I remembered that YT had fitness gurus, as well! WellnessRocksGym, LiveStrongWoman, StudioEast, Blogilates and StudioPilates. I got into Kpop (#don'tjudgeme) and became a subbie of 2NE1, Tae Yang, Se7en, etc. Informal Korean lessons (TenchiJK2), political incorrectness (iamOTHER), homeschool curriculum (HomeSchlMomof3), being a Christian (Tenchijk), life overseas (AbatarTeacher), life advice (DhatAznJ), current events (AlJazeeraEnglish), and countless other channels fill up my subscription tab.

Outside of these genres stands one of my favorite groups of YTers: the life-ers. They do vlogs, album covers, do recipes, computer graphics, introduce you to their SOs and/or friends, create their own music, short films, poetry or art, do parodies, give advice, and do lots of tags. I'm just getting to know this niche among the millions of YTers, but I enjoy them just the same...and oftentimes even moreso because of the variety that they bring to the proverbial table. 

Of this group, StillNotDavid is probably my favorite. More often that not, his videos leave me on the floor gasping for air. I love his sense of humor. His latest update, though (from more than a week ago) was really thought-provoking. It's a short film that he wrote and directed, and I think it's worth watching. Peep the vid (and head over to YT to sub to his channel if you like this :-D )!

What think you?

In other news, I mentioned yesterday that I like to put regular conditioners and masques in my carrot DC. I know some of you were probably like "What the what? Carrots?" Yes, my dear curly friend, carrots. Occasionally, ideas for mixes just pop into my head, and I can't seem to restrain myself from trying them. A few weeks ago, I got the bright idea to try making a DC with carrots. I usually use avocados, but I thought that pureeing carrots would give the same results. So, I Googled it, and came across this recipe on BlackHairPlanet.com:

Ingredients:

•3 carrots

•1 overripe banana

•Honey

•Mayonnaise

•Peppermint

•Water

•Blender

•Container with lid

•Towel

Step

1)Steam or boil 3 washed and chopped carrots in 1 cup of water until tender. Fifteen minutes may be long enough to soften the carrots. If you have the green carrot leaves, we will use them in this recipe as well. You do not have to cook this part of the carrot for the hair conditioner.

Step

2 )

Pour the carrot and water into a blender, and blend until almost smooth. Add fresh or dried peppermint to the blender and blend.

Step

3 )

Add the banana and blend until smooth and creamy. The banana and carrot composition will give the hair conditioner a lot of body.

Step

4 )

Next, add 1 teaspoon of honey and 1/2 cup of mayonnaise to the blender. Blend all ingredients together, making a smooth and creamy hair conditioner.

Step

5)Spoon the mixture into a jar with a lid, and store in the refrigerator until your next shampoo.

Step

6)Add a generous amount after shampooing, making sure to massage the hair conditioner in well. Wrap with a towel and leave in for 15 minutes to 2 hours. Rinse and towel dry.

Now, y'all know me...I tweak everything pretty much. My scalp detests peppermint, so I left that out. And we didn't have real mayonnaise at the time, so I just used conditioner in place of the mayo. I also substituted molasses for honey since we were out of that, as well. I followed all of the other directions pretty much to a "T." It went on smoothly, as you can see:

Post rinsing...my hair felt uber soft, but oh, all the pieces of carrots in my twists!

And, my results after detangling. I do have to mention that removing pieces of carrot seems much easier than removing avocado chunks. My Denman just seems to pick up carrots much more easily.Now, I did have carrot pieces in my twists, but it wasn't too noticeable, methinks.

Ooh! I had some other random pictures and a video from studying for finals at Vicente's house. They're hecka (it sounds weird, I know) late, but better late than never, right? :-)

This was fuel for the weekend...I drank 4 cups of this magical coffee! Andrei taught me how to make cafe "the Southern way." It was frothy y muy delicioso :-D

The ingredients used. He added 1 heaping spoonful of instant coffee, and 2 spoonfuls (minimum 2, maximum 5, optimum 3.5) of sugar to mine. In the background is a pan of penne that Vicente cooked and Stephen's legs lol.

This video was one that I took during one of our study breaks on the second day. In it, you'll see (and hear) Julia, Vicente, Noelle, Andrei, Stephen, Matt, Lola, and moi. The obnoxious laughter close to the mic and female Kermit voice are also mine -______-

Amazon Haul!! (Updated) + My First Recital

Hola, chicas y chicos! I'm pumping out the posts today :-)

Anywho, many of you know that I'm in an honors program at my CC. Well, our professors decided to give us homework over the break *le sigh* C'est la vie. Here are the books and movies we have to have read and watched by the time classes restart on 28 January:

The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
Printed scholarly work focusing on the 20th century history of the country chosen for biography*
Rabbit-Proof Fence
The Lives of Others
Apocalypse Now

*The last book I listed is part of a second semester project. We all have to write a 20th century biography of a single individual from a country and move them through the historical, economical, and cultural events of most of the 1900s. Everybody chose a country; I selected Korea because I've been intrigued by its culture for some time, and I'd like to know more of its history and background and whatnot. The book I chose as a source was A Concise History of Modern Korea: From the Late Nineteenth Century to the Present by Michael J. Seth, associate professor of East Asian and world history at James Madison University. Other than the book being scholarly, I had no clue as to what criteria to look for when searching for a book to read over the semester break, so here's hoping I chose a good one. Lol.

So, on Saturday, around 8 am, I ordered 9 books from Amazon: The Metamorphosis, All Quiet on the Western Front, A Concise History of Modern Korea, Waiting for Godot (another honors program requirement), Steppenwolf (honors), Night (honors), The Curly Girl Handbook, Eat to Live and Better Than Good Hair (more info on this particular purchase mas tarde :-D) I have an Amazon Prime account, so I get free 2 day shipping on most items. I expected to get my books on Monday. Imagine my surprise when a box was delivered to my front door on Sunday morning! I didn't even know that UPS delivered on Sundays. It was a very pleasant surprise. I even have a little video about it:

Obviously, not everything came, but to have nearly half of my order delivered by the next day is impressive, methinks.

Ooh! I forgot to mention that Sunday (30 December 2012) was the very first piano recital that I've ever held without my piano teacher. Only 3 of my students could come (one was sick), and the recital lasted a total of 13 minutes, but all the parents and grandparents loved it. There were sugary refreshments laid out decoratively on the counter, and everyone bonded over chocolate mint balls and apple juice. I was able to talk to a few new parents, neighbors and classmates of my students, etc. I was a nervous wreck at first, but I felt more comfortable afterwards.

While I was proud of all of my kiddos for performing so well (and having everything committed to memory!), my oldest student nearly brought tears to my eyes. He has two older sisters (one of which is one of my closest friends), and since he's heard them playing different pieces, he can pick things up pretty easily by ear. He goes through his sisters' old music books and finds songs to play and then rewrites them. One such piece was from a book that his sister and I used when we were 12: Alfred's Basic Piano Library Lesson Book Level 6. The first piece, "Variations on the Theme from the Celebrated Canon in D," was one that he knew well. It's a 4 page piece, and would have been relatively simple for him to learn. Him being the perfectionist that he is, however, he began to freak out about how he couldn't learn it in a month, it was impossible, etc. I calmed him down, and we set to work, practicing one line at a time. He picked up the first 1.5 pages easily, but we hit snags once the fingering and variations became too difficult for his small hands. So, instead of freaking out (yet again), he did what all great musicians do: he improvised.

From those 4 black and white pages and that brilliant little mind of his, came a 10 year old boy's interpretation of Pachelbel's "Canon in D." It was marvelous, and he added a new element every time he played it. It sounded better at each lesson, so my hopes were high at the recital. Imagine my surprise when he shortened his already condensed Canon into an even more potent piece! It went from 4:30 to 2:00 flat, but in those short 120 seconds, he played with more musicality than I've ever heard him perform with before.  He improvised and added Alberti bass, broke the chords in both treble and bass clefs...things I'd never dreamed he'd do with the Canon. He went to new places, and my, oh my, was it a joy to listen to.

Here's to improvisational music!

Oh! I forgot to ask: have any of y'all ever seen any of the movies I mentioned above? What did you think? Did you like them? Were they thought-provoking?

#Realtalk: My Relationship with God (Updated)

Wow. Where do I begin? Last year (2012), I was all gung ho about reading my Bible, praying, going to church, etc. and I wanted to deepen my relationship with God. Things went well until my Nana's health started to fail. The more ill she became, the further I felt from God. After she passed away, I read one last Psalm, and I have hardly opened my Bible since (except for Sundays during church and Thursdays at Bible study). I seem to have lost all motivation to read it. I haven't sincerely prayed in months. I don't feel like going to church most Sundays. Things that used to bother me (cursing, amongst other things) no longer prick my conscience. God feels like a fairy tale that I used to believe in, and to be quite honest, there are some days where I just want to give up and not believe at all. I turned to hair and technology to be my gods instead. For months, I have been addicted to watching YouTube videos until the wee hours of the morning, staying on CurlyNikki and feeling the urge to post and read nearly every thread, and wanting to fit in everywhere that I could possibly go on the Internet. But then I realized something: I'm miserable. My overly-anxious, melancholy personality has magnified a hundredfold and I feel like I can no longer function properly. I have become lazy, lethargic, angry, irritable, bitter, and inconsolably sad. I keep flip flopping in my decisions, unsure of what to take during the spring semester, worrying about my major...all decisions that I normally have less issues with.

Like I've said before, I go inside myself when troubled times come instead of reaching out. I did that with my professors in the fall semester and my grades suffered severely as a result. And to be quite honest, when I was a younger, 15 year old "super Christian," I never imagined that I would do it in my spiritual walk. Oh, all the pride I had (and still have!). I wish that I'd gone to the Lord instead of material things with my hurt and pain. I don't want the storm of my Nana passing to be the thing that did me in as a follower of Christ; the rabbit trail that kept me from finishing the race like my grandmother did. I can't dwell on my rocky spiritual past, but I can definitely do something about the future.

I'm struggling so much with the sin (yes, sin) of unbelief right now. I know that it's not going to be easy to uproot, but I know that with God's strength,I can be cleansed of my unbelief, have my hurts healed, and find compassion, joy and hope once again. It won't all be rainbows and sunshine, and I know that there will be days where I feel like yelling at God and giving up, but I cannot quit. It honestly feels like my heart is hanging in the balance, and I will not let Satan take over my life.

That being said, I'm committing to spending the next 120 days (from today [1 January] to 2 May 2013) in the word for at least 30 minutes per day (excluding prayer). I'm calling it Operation: Back on Track (OBOT). It will be in addition to church services, life groups, Bible study, and any other Bible-related event/activity in which I participate. For direction in this area, I'll be using books/devotionals from Precept Ministries International; from their 40 Minute Bible Studies series. Each focuses on different aspects of godliness and spirituality, and is designed to be completed in 6 weeks. The ones I plan to complete are:

How Do You Walk the Walk You Talk?
How to Make Choices You Won't Regret
What Does the Bible Say About Sex?
Turning Your Heart Toward God

If I finish those earlier than planned, I can also finish a Beth Moore study in which I left the last chapter undone: Breaking Free.

I hope and pray that each one of them will be helpful in my spiritual growth journey.
In addition to getting back into the Word, my prayer life must be reassessed. I have a wonderful book that I was going through last year called A Young Woman's Call to Prayer by Elizabeth George that I will likely restart. The author emphasizes improving one's prayer life by actually putting down the book and praying, which is encouraging. I can devote 15 minutes per day to prayer and getting back into the habit of doing it, etc.

Total, that's 45 minutes per day that I'll be spending with God. My goal is to be able to do it in the mornings, but anytime will work. My only problem when I plan things out like this is that I get too excited, think that I can do everything, get a big head about it, and then fall flat on my face within a few days. So I already have my first prayer request: humility! :-P And diligence, consistency...whatever you want to call it. I have a terrible habit of putting off for tomorrow what I could've/should've/would've done today. It will be the death of me, mentally.

I didn't mean to write so much, but my heart feels lighter right now. This was definitely something that I needed to get off my chest. I'll report weekly on my progress, what I've learned, my thoughts, where I think God is leading me next, my setbacks, frustrations, victories, good news, bad news - everything.

(I know that not everybody who reads this is a Christian or believes in God, but my faith is part of my life, and therefore, part of my blog. If you are offended by it in any way, please feel free to skip over these posts in the future, when you see them :-) )

Ciao, bellas!

Core Finals: Day 1 + Mi Pelo + Regrets

Today was the first day of studying for finals! I didn't get there until the afternoon, but only Becca, Daniel and  Andrei were at Vicente's house. It was difficult to focus because we enjoy talking about other things too, but despite the fact that we went off onto many, many tangents, we got a lot accomplished, methinks. We discussed literature a bit, and then when Stephen came, we got more into history. Becca and Daniel left, and then Allen  - our resident philosopher - came. He is probably one of the deepest guys I know, so we got our philosophy on when he arrived. I love that he's so open to learning about other people's beliefs, even when they differ from his own. We can talk about our faiths (he's Muslim and I'm Christian) without the conversation turning into a heated debate, and we end up seeing a lot more of the similarities between our beliefs instead of the differences. I've actually seen that there are many more similarities between Islam and Christianity than there are anything else. Both religions have Abrahamic roots, just like Judaism, so it makes sense. It slips my mind so often, though, that it usually takes a person of another faith to remind me of how much we share. But I digress...

Throughout the afternoon, we went onto rabbit trails about culture, religion, philosophy, science...you wouldn't believe it unless you were there. After everybody else had left. Allen and Andrei even got into this deep discussion about what time really is, the definition of 3 dimensions, time travel, quantum physics, calculus...it was amazing. I thought it was over my head at first, and I remarked how dumb I felt, but they both encouraged me to just think about it in different ways. I did, and I actually comprehended it. It totally changed my attitude and view of physics (not my favorite science) and the practicality and application of mathematics (most especially algebra and calculus). I'm looking forward to math classes now. Or even just learning math on my own. I'll show you some shots of the group - finally, faces to the names I mention so often!

SN: Andrei wanted to know why he wasn't on my blog, too. Lol. So, I wondered about just doing a Scholars Stories series, and do interviews with all of the people in the program - even the professors. What think you? Let me know what you'd think about getting to know my classmates and friends! :-)

So, now, presenting some of my fellow Scholars! (I did let them know that I'd be blogging about them, and they knew about the photos :-D ):

 

From left to right: Daniel, Andrei, and Stephen while we discussed the major points of history that we learned this semester.

Allen (left) and Andrei (right) talking about the finer points of history in the kitchen.

Vicente (left) and Stephen (right) enjoying Allen and Andrei's conversation.

Allen and Andrei deep in a discussion about the effects that religion has on culture.

In the basement: Allen and Andrei's physics and calculus oral dissertation lol. I looked on from the couch, taking in the incense that Vicente (sitting off to the left) burned. Vicente's younger sister came down to listen in, too, and she was also intrigued. Who wouldn't be?

This is a short clip I recorded during their discussion. This was the tip of the iceberg! Sorry for the poor video quality; their voices are more important than the images, though :-)

Andrei used my scrunchy to describe what time is (my mind was blown, btdubs). And speaking of scrunchies, peep the 'do! I went up to the bathroom to take out my twists, and was greeted with this (I did pin back one side with a couple bobby pins I found in my hair):

Not too bad, eh? I think I'll wear my hair out on Fridays again. I'm loving this look, methinks. Oh, and I just mixed up my cleanser for tomorrow morning. I added some Paula's Choice shampoo because of the silicones from the Pantene that are in my hair. Uggh. Ooh, and I'm DCing with Nature's Gate Aloe Vera Moisturizing Conditioner. I'll probably add EVOO, EVCO, grapeseed oil, sesame oil, canola oil, and mayhaps a carrot or two, and some mayonnaise. I'll dish in the AM.

Last but not least: Please, please, please keep those CT families in your thoughts and prayers. The fact that somebody was sick enough to murder so many young, innocent children is troubling to my soul. I was devastated when I heard the news. I work with that age group a lot, and I just cried and cried. What are we coming to?

Tales of Bacon + Gritting my Teeth + Schwarzenberg

For my World Music class this semester, our professor assigned everybody a Fieldwork Project to complete by the end of the semester. We all had to find a person involved in world music (non-Western or folk or non-mainstream), interview them, research about them and what they do, and present a brief (10 minute) presentation to the rest of the class, and submit an 8-10 page research paper.

It sounds daunting, no? Well, I thought so. This week, we're going through all of the presentations and submitting our papers on Thursday.Tuesday, Rory (a musical theatre aficionado and fellow lover of Newsies) presented, and she did her project on this guy who just blew me out of the water! His name? Christylez Bacon (pronounced Chris-styles; his real first name is Chris). He's a progressive hip hop artist - he takes the essentials of hiphop - the beats, beatboxing, rhythms, etc. - and blends them with just about any other musical style you can imagine: classical, jazz, children's songs, classical Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean...the list is endless. Now, before you wrinkle your nose up in disgust, hear me out. I actually dislike hiphop. A lot. It is my least favorite musical genre of all time. But what Chris does is unique. He removes all the vulgarity and ratchet-ness so prevalent in modern rap lyrics and replaces them with words that make you THINK. His beatboxing is on point. He plays dozens of different instruments! Everything about him is just unconventional and unexpected. Here's a couple videos for y'all to check out (one is above): ----------->-->

I presented my project today, too, but it wasn't nearly as interesting as Rory's. I did mine on the guzheng; a Chinese zither first used by members of the literati (upper class of scholars in China in Japan; they wrote beautiful calligraphy, painted, wrote poetry, and were able to afford not working on a farm). There were so many amazing presentations, and it was cool to know that there were so many talented people who lived and worked in MoCo (Montgomery County). Oooh! Even though I had a semi-boring report, here's what the guzheng looks like, and how it sounds being used on a modern piece:

Continuing on this school-related note, I am NOT playing around with finals this year! Last spring I thought I could breeze through everything, which resulted in God rooting some pride out of me...as well as knocking my GPA down a bit. I'm determined to get not a single grade lower than a B this semester; I'm hoping for all As in the spring. So, I actually printed out all of my professors final exam guides to use as study aids. I'm pulling out my highlighters, textbooks, index cards, notebooks, laptop, bookmarks, and loads of water and snacks. Vicente, one of the guys in my program, opened his house to us (Scholars), and so we'll be spending Friday-Sunday with each other just studying and prepping for Tuesday's and Thursday's exams. Pray that we can get through it without driving each other nuts!

No Schwarzenberg Tales today, but I do have a Schwarzism. Before Core started this morning, a few of us  were outside the classroom in the hallway. We were talking about studying, exams, etc. Out of nowhere, Matt says, "I might as well sit at my desk and wear a diaper all weekend; I have so much stuff to do." We  were all dying! He's one of the most quotable Scholars. Lol. I can do a post with pics from our study session tomorrow, and you can see what my classmates look like :-)